Monday, October 12, 2009

Confessions of a Mean Hott Girl!

Last week was the week from hell for me. As bad as it was, it makes for a great story. So grab some snacks, a glass of wine and curl up with your computer and get ready to laugh your ass off. I am sure a few of you will snort. LOL

I met this boy on the internet a few months ago. We started chatting and became friends. He was nice, caring and funny. He was overseas working so he was just great to chat with at the strange times that I am awake. About a month ago he told me he needed a date for his brother's wedding and wanted to know if I would go. I said i would because I thought it would be fun to get out of the house and he seemed like someone who would be fun to hang out with. As the time for him to come home got closer he was beginning to make a ton of plans with me for the whole time he would be home. Again, I didn't mind because they were some fun things, like haunted houses, Phantom, past life readings, tats and so on. I still wasn't worried about him trying anything or pressuring me for some relationship because he had made it perfectly clear he just wanted to make friends until he was home for good.

Monday October 5th

He arrived home on Monday. He called me from the airport and we chatted. He told me how he was wearing a $12000 watch and how he had like $50,000 worth of jewelry. How one day he just went out and bought a car because he felt like it. He didn't shut up about how much stuff cost. He then told me how the girl sitting next to him on the plane asked him to stay with her that night and catch a flight the next day.

He then told me he was busy all day so we would have to meet another day. Then I got a text wanting to know if I wanted to go to dinner with him and his son. I said I was busy and couldn't. Then he wanted to know if I wanted to hang out after I went to puppy school. Again I said no. Spend time with your kid and I will see you tomorrow. We had decided to meet on Tuesday. He called me later that night and we chatted again about various stuff. I told him I could meet him after 1pm on Tuesday because I was busy until then. Well, he asked what I was doing, if I could change it and then where I wanted to meet him.

Tuesday October 6th

At 8:30am I was woken up with a phone call from him. {side note: who the hell calls anyone before 9am especially someone whom you know doesn't go to sleep until 5am?} He wanted to know when we were meeting and where. I told him like 1:30p because I had somewhere to be. So I finally meet him at Best Buy. I walk up to him and he ignores me as he is talking to a sales associate. I walk away and look at movies. He comes over and starts babbling. We walk around Best Buy and he basically buys everything. He buys ps3 remotes, a game, an ipod thingy for his car, some movies. Freaking over $300 worth of stuff. Ok..whatever.
We walked to his car to put the stuff in it because we were going to the Halloween store on the walk over he was like "I am going to kill my kid" I looked over and he was holding a pair of sunglasses, I asked what was wrong and he said "I think my kid scratched my glasses". I said "go buy another pair, they are just sunglasses" He looked at me like I had lost my mind then said "these are $400 glasses, you don't just buy another pair" I was like "your going to kill your kid over $400 glasses?" then all of sudden they weren't scratched. LOL.
In the Halloween store we looked at everything and it was actually pleasant until I said I was going to be a pirate for Halloween and he said "aren't they all wenches?" WTF? really..your going to call me a wench? At this point I am racking my head to try and figure out how to get out of going to the wedding. This boy is nothing like how he was on chat and I wanted out. I got nothing.
We went to the mall then another Halloween store. On the ride to the Halloween store he talked about his guns and how he was almost mugged and how he is never without a gun because the world is a horrible place. It never stopped with the negative. That was hard for me because I am a positive person, I have to be.
Finally, I got to go home. I was still trying to figure out a way not to go but talked myself into that he was nervous and just babbling because of it. So I decided to give him another shot that and I knew the count had been put in for the wedding and I would have felt so bad about that. I remember when people didn't show up to mine, it cost a freaking fortune for empty plates. I was going to do the right thing.

Wednesday October 7

he wanted to go out but I had stuff to do and a hair appointment at 4pm so I wasn't wanting to go out. I also had to get school work done and I was fighting with my internet. I told him this ALL DAY. At 3:30p my internet was still down and I was desperate. I was looking for places that had wifi and was not having any luck. I texted him and asked him if he knew of any place and he said his house. I was like if my internet isn't up when I get home I am coming over. He then told me he bought an xbox 360 and Halo 3. {when were at best buy I was talking about how much I wanted to play Halo 3 and said you should buy an xbox. I didn't think he would.}
My hair appointment was at 4pm, he knew this. I told him several times. Here is the breakdown of our text message conversation:

Him: do you want to go to dinner with me and my kid?
Me: I am getting my hair done
Him: when will you be done
Me: a few hours
Him: so by 7
Me: I don't know. I have several colors to put in and I am only on the first one. Plus I have to do school if my internet is up.
{He calls me} I don't answer
Him: 7:30?
Me: I don't know. I do not think I can go. I have to do school.
Him: where are you at?
Me: the city I am in
Him: me and the kid are by Best Buy and going to go to the Chinese restaurant. Will go at 7:30. Will you be here by then?
Me: No. I won't be done by then and I have to do school. I can not come out tonight. We can hang out tomorrow.
Him: What time do you think you could get here.
Me: I can't
Him: (he calls) I don't answer
Him: ok. I will talk to you later.

Mind you the whole salon is laughing because of the remarks I keep making. My hairdressers is laughing so hard about it. We put extra blue in my hair because he made a comment about how he didn't really want the blue in for the wedding. Bitch, You knew I had blue hair. LOL

Thursday October 8

I am suppose to go see him but its raining and I don't drive in the rain. He is like I will come get you and I was like no. So we talk on and off all day and he keeps wanting to know when I am coming over. Again, I tell him I don't drive in the rain and I have school to do. This goes on all FUCKING day.

I tell him I have to get a new dress Friday because I hate all the dresses I bought. he wanted to take me but I told him I was going with my mom.

Friday October 9

9:00am I get a text wanting to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to get a dress. I am out with my mom from 9:30a to 1:30p and I swear he texted and called me like 20 times. He would text then call then text then call then text then call. I did finally talk to him because I needed to know what time I needed to be there because I might be going to the rehearsal dinner. We agreed on about 5. When I did finally leave I sent him a text telling him so. He called me and he told me how he was paying for our room, his parents room, and his 2 brothers room. {note: our room had two beds. I made sure of that}. I get there at about 5:30pm.

This is where my real hell begins.....

We are standing outside the room and he keeps getting texts from his "ex" girlfriend. Of course he shows them to me. She misses him and wishes she was going to be with him this weekend. I was like she can go with you. {Please, Please, Please} No..he wants to spend time with me and she is crazy. He offers to get my stuff out of the car because I can't lift over 5 pounds {remember this}. I get my laptop all up and running so I can work on my school. He's kid is with us so it's pretty fun. Then he starts bitching about his ex wife in front of his son. He was like you have the worst manners, you get that from living with your mom right? His son says a hesitated yes. I guess he was sick of hanging with his son who he hasn't seen in like a year so he tells him to go find his grandma. He gets kind of miffed that he has to walk him down to her room. He comes back and starts talking about how much he likes me and I am so cute and bla bla bla. He goes on with dissing his ex wife then bitches about the ex girlfriend. The someone knocks on the door, it was one of his brothers. All his brothers were going to borrow one of his watches. I kind you not he is worse then a girl. He has a little jewelry bag full of watches and rings even a pinkie ring. I proceed to call him a girl several times threw the night and the next day. I call 'em like I see 'em.
The rehearsal is at 7 and he is late because he won't leave. Finally he is gone and I can work on my school and I kind of do but I mostly play on facebook, you know I have to maintain my Mafia, farm and Not even 15 min. later I get a text that him and his kid are in the arcade. I am confused shouldn't he be rehearsing? So I go to the arcade, I am not one to turn down video games. As we are playing his brother comes over with his gift because he wasn't at the rehearsal to get it. Next he has to go to the dinner. I am not going because I do have to work on school and I wouldn't feel comfortable with all his family. He walks me back to the room after he tells his son to go find his grandma. I get to the room and sit on my bed and begin working. He plops down beside me and watches everything I am typing. I HATE people that do that. If I want you to see what is on my screen I will show you. I was actually really hoping someone would IM me something really bad but that doesn't happen when you need it I shut my laptop because I don't want him to see any of my stuff. He then begins to rub my back and tell me again how much he likes me and I am so sweet and bla bla bla. {Note: for those who don't know, I have had two spine surgeries and I HATE people touching my back. I also hate when people touch my head. He knows this} I grab him and pull him to the door so he can go to the dinner. He says he will only be there an hour and I am like it is your brother's rehearsal dinner you need to stay. He complains about it but finally leaves. I get a text message 20 min later telling me to order room service. I hate ordering room service because it is so damn expensive but I do. I pay $14 for 4 chicken fingers and some fries. It is like 11pm and he comes storming into the room with his parents, 1 of his brothers and his son. He is swearing about his ex wife and looking for his kids medicine because his son called his mom asking her to come get him. Here is everything that he said about it:

"I am going to kill my kid, he called his mother to come get him. No one knew this until she called my phone yelling at me to be a better parent. She said he should have been in bed 2 hours ago and that I should pay more attention to him. I asked him if he was tired but he wanted to stay up so I let him. I am so sick of him calling her all the time. How dare she tell me how to parent."

Mind you, his son wasn't staying with us..Nope he was staying with..yes you guessed it..his mom. His mom was also suppose to take him to get a haircut the next morning. The amount of times he pushed his son onto his mom was appalling.

He tells his mom to take his kid to go meet his ex wife because he can't deal with her. We leave to go to a haunted house. On the way out his ex wife is waiting for him because his kid doesn't have his special toy that he can't sleep without. So on the way back to the room he bitches about how she probably brought it up to the kid and was just doing this to annoy him. Then he asks one of his friends if he will kill her. REALLY?

Finally we are at the haunted house we go with his brother and cousin. The haunted house itself sucked but it was fun with people jumping out at you and all the decorations. The strobe lights messed with my head but it was still fun. When we were done, I wanted to go back to the room and sleep. I am sure he would have preferred to go drinking with the other to but he took me back. I told him he could drop me off and go out with them but I was being stupid and he wanted to be with me. back at the room I lie on the bed after popping a ton of pills. He then cuddles up beside me. My back is facing him and he tries to pull me over on my back but I don't move and I tell him I don't feel well. So what does he do..Yep..rubs my back and rests his head on my head. He also keeps kissing my shoulder and head. I tell him I don't like people touching my back or head but what do I know? Then he proceeds to tell me the following:

Him: you know they will get you better
Me: I guess, I don't put much thought into it
Him: they will. The Mayo clinic is a great hospital, I looked it up. If it wasn't I would talk you out of going.
Me: you would, would you?
Him: I worry about you and care. I know you will get better and even if you don't I will still be here.
Me: I don't like talking about it. I also don't think about it because hope in this situation is a bad thing.
Him: They will fix you and you will be all better..he goes on and on and on about this.

Finally he says he has to take a shower. So he gets up, goes to the bathroom. I take over the bed by lying across it and under the covers. There is NO room for him. LOL

Saturday October 10 -- The wedding

The wedding was at 5pm. I woke up at 8am since I wanted to check on my school project. He was awake and the day was off to a shitty ass start. He started talking about what we were going to do the next week. Then he was making plans for when he came back in December. The way he was talking you would think we were going to be together every freaking day. Then this comment starting coming out: "If I can keep you that long".

He kept bitching because I had to work on my school work and my team members were calling then his phone rang and it was his best girlfriend. Lucky for me I could hear most of the conversation:

Her: so how are you?
Him: good.
Her: did you kiss her?
Him: yes
Him: No, before you even ask
Her: what was I going to ask?
Him: you know what you were going to ask and I am just answering before you have a chance.
Her: what? If you had sex?
Him: yes and no we didn't.
Her: oh.
Him: I need you to help me with my ex problem. She keeps texting me
Her: You want to get rid of her? Are you sure?
Him Yes.
Her: Ok. we will talk later. I want to hear all about it.
Him: {laughs} don't worry you will

He hangs up the phone and tells me the whole conversation he had with her. Who the hell does that? You are going to tell everyone, everything you do with them. That is such a great quality.

He son shows up with his mom and as she walks in, she stares at the two used beds and smiles. She tells her son what she has to do and there is a lot and he is like can you take care of my kid I want to sleep some more. I shake my head and he is like fine he can stay. He gets his ass out of bed and does the whole morning routine thing. So I am left watching his kid. We had a blast. We were jumping on the beds and talking about video games. It was the most fun I had. The he comes out and tells his son to go get ready and he proceeds to finish getting ready. He puts on a Rolex and two rings, one was a pinkie ring. I sit there laughing.

Him: what?
Me: you are such a girl
Him: I am not. You are such a mean girl.
Me: But you knew that.
Him: why do you have to be so mean to me. Don't you like me?
Me: I call 'em like I see 'em

His son comes out and he helps him to get ready. They are sitting there and he says "I try to be a good dad. Don't you think?" His son immediately says "you are a good dad". He is still waiting for me to say something but I don't. They finally leave for photos. I watch some tv and then start to get ready and about an hour later a knock comes on the door. It was his son. He sits with me and we watch tv and play with his dad's phone and he calls his mom. I have to keep that a secret because he doesn't want his dad to get mad at him. Another knock comes at the door and it is one of his super smokin' hot brothers. For clarification, the guy I am stuck going to the wedding with IS NOT SUPER SMOKIN' HOT. He isn't even cute..he is just blaah

At about quarter to 5. My date (his son) comes to take me to the wedding. I even told him that I ditched him for his son..ha ha ha!

5:00pm the wedding

He was an usher so he had to sit people and pull the white thingy. Then he came and sat with me and his son. As soon as he sits down he puts his arm around me and kisses my shoulder. He does this throughout the whole wedding. I notice people looking at me but I figured it was the blue highlights but as I look around I notice I am tame compared to the some of the guests. There is pink hair and arm sleeve tats. It occurs to me that they are doing the WTF? she is with him stare. After the wedding I leave and go back to the room to lie down. I was feeling so bad and I was barely holding it together. I had sent emails to my Best friend begging for help, but because I am a nice person I wasn't going to leave until after the wedding since I know they had already paid for my plate.
He and his son come back and we are just sitting there talking then all of a sudden he looks at his son and says "go find your grandma". I look at him as he says it again and then look at his kid and say "no. you are not going to find your grandma. stay here". I turn to him and say "your mom is busy you can watch your son" He is not pleased with this answer.

6:30pm the reception

We walk into the reception and I can feel everyone staring at me again with the same WTF? look. He sits me at the family table and kisses my cheek in front of all his family and his kid. I am not impressed. I talk with his dad about my school and such and then after he gets introduced he comes and sits down as he does this he kisses my shoulder. His aunt wants to take our picture so I lean over and before she takes he he has to kiss my cheek. Her and I exchange wtf He is hanging on me the rest of the night like a cheap suit. He gets mad at his son because he wants to go play video games and lectures him on how this is his uncles special day and he should stay here and spend time with everyone. Then all of sudden we are going to the arcade. His son is playing games and he is behind me with his arms wrapped around me. I am just standing there.

Him: you look beautiful
Me: I know
Him: how do I get you back to my room?
me: are we not in the same room?
Him: ok. how do I get you out of this dress?
Me: You don't.

His son's mom is coming to get him so we get him changed then wait for her in the lobby.

Him: My ex is really wanting to see you
Me: why?
Him: she is curious of the women I date. She wants to make sure she is the best looking. Which she is not. My family always says I dated the hottest women but married the ugly one.
{his son is right there}
Me: we are not dating
Him:well you know what I mean.
Me: no I don't

at this point his son goes and plays on the computer and I sit on the couch and he sits beside me.

Him: she is such a bitch and I hate her.
Me: you should be nicer
Him: I have tried but she makes it so hard
Me: you need to do it for yourself. She isn't all that bad she gave you your son.
Him: will you be there for me to help me be more positive?
Me: uh huh
Him: I need to stop drinking or I am going to tell you how much I love you and you will make fun of me for it because your mean
Me: but you knew that. I told you a I was a bitch
Him: your not a bitch. Your a sexy nice girl
Me: his mom is here

After giving his son to his mother he comes back in.

Him: do you want to go back to the room?
Me: no. let's go back to the reception. It's your brother's wedding. you need to be there
Him: no I don't I just want to spend time with you.
Me: you can spend time with me tomorrow.
Him: fine we will go back
Him: what did you say to my parents
Me: nothing. I talk to your dad about school
Him: that must be it then
Me: huh?
Him: my mom pulled me aside and told me that she really liked you and not to fuck it up.
Me: umm..ok

Back at the reception we sit at the table. My back is facing him and he wraps around me. His brother comes over and is like you need to be dancing he says do you really think I am going to leave this position I am in? I roll my eyes and his brother smiles and walks off. I leave to go to the bathroom and when I come back he is talking with his brothers. I sit down and he comes over

Him: I just got dared
Me: huh?
Him: my brother asked if I kissed you and I said yes and he didn't believe me so he dared me to kiss you.

He leans in and I turn away and say let's go smoke.

As we are smoking he tells me his mom talked to him again. Asking if I was having a good time because I am quite and he said yes I am sure she would say if she wasn't. She then said she wants to talk to you and get to know you in case I fuck it up maybe she can salvage it. We go back to the reception and he proceeds to tell more people he paid for everyone's rooms. I swear the whole fucking hotel and reception knew this.

At like 10:45pm we leave the reception. As soon as I get into the room I put my jeans on under my dress grab a shirt and go get changed. We are sitting there and I am thirsty and he has to get change for the soda machine so we walk to the front desk to get it. He is still in his tux, his shirt is just kind of untucked. We take the elevator up which is by the reception.

Him: I hope the reception is over and my mom doesn't see me
Me: why?
Him: she will think something happened
Me: No she won't
Him: you don't know my mom
Me: true but she knows my type. She won't think anything happened and nothing did.

I swear he was hoping someone saw him. We get back to the room. I drink some soda and lie down. He is right there. I fall asleep at 11:30pm. I wake up because someone knocked on the door but no one is there. I fall back asleep then at like 2am because the phone rang. He answers it and what I caught was the following:

Phone: Did you fuck her?
Him: mumbles
Phone: well since you can't seem to. Can I?
Him: I am going to come down there and kill you
Phone: laughing

Sunday October 11

I wake up and I feel terrible. I tell him I might need to go home. He says I just need to lie down for the day. We don't need to go to six flags. He pushes me into bed and then rubs my back and head..Seriously..again. His son also calls and says he doesn't want to come and spend time with him. Shocker.

The people keep coming in and out. He comes over by the me and says:

Him: you can go if you want, but you can just lie here all day and order room service.
Me: No I want to go home. I am staring to get bitchy
Him: no your not and I don't mind if you hit me
Me: I don't hit girls
Him: you are such a mean bitch to me. I bet everyone knows where they stand with you
Me: I told you this.
he said some other shit that I am not writing down because it was just plain mean
Me: you are too fucking serious. Get over yourself
Him: I am just joking.
Me: whatever

I tell him I am leaving after I listen to him tell me how the world is such a terrible place and all the money he made and all the girls that want him..bla bla bla

He is pissed that I am leaving and he is lying on the bed and in a snotty voice says do I have to help you take your stuff to the car? I look at him and am like yes I can't lift over 5 pounds. He takes my stuff to the car I kiss him goodbye and he is like do I have a chance with you and I say maybe because I want to get the fuck out of there and I don't want to deal with some long ass in depth conversation. I figured I would talk to him on Monday and tell him no.

I text him when I get home and I don't get an instant text back. I just laugh and thank God.

That was my weekend. There will be a part 2 of this blog telling you what happened next. I really do hope this made you laugh. I am still laughing at it. Don't forget to leave comments, I want to know what you think. :)


  1. "...That is such a great quality."

    HA! Wow... this guy needs help. World class guy and dad.

  2. He is clueless and I feel sorry for him because he is likely to fail at all his relationships.

    I can only imagine the pressure you were under to not say anything to his family.

    You are a strong person to put yourself thorough that.

  3. wow... what a tool.

  4. Girl, that was one messed up guy. I'm glad you don't have to deal with him anymore. I feel so sorry for his little boy, though, and I think it's great that you stuck up for him. Who knows, maybe this situation will give the guy some food for thought, at least about his relationship with his child.

  5. I felt like being in a horror movie when I read that. This guy is freaky and terrifying... I am glad you got out safe!

    ...wonder what comes in part 2... it seems it cannot get any worse but , who knows...